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June 9th, 2007
10:49 am
I just thought that I would mention that due to the reason that I have not been posting is simply because: a) People don't bother commenting on what I have and b) I just don't care to use the minimal time that I have posting here. Therefore I am directing all of you to VF where I am now going to post my journal entries. Aside from that, I will drop in every now and again and comment on those who need commenting on.
Go to the site here
My user name is necromanticity.
- ciao
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April 28th, 2007
10:30 pm
My brain is messed lately.
I can't think all to straight because people are becoming more intolerable.
Hmmmmm....
What to do, what to do, what to do.
People are also seemingly spacing themselves away, either from me, or just everyone in general.
It kind of sucks.
Buuut you know, I think that it will be better once I leave this place and everyone else behind.
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April 26th, 2007
09:46 pm
Life is great.
Took out the bike.
I have a new avatar default picture aaaaand, yeah.
Wooop.
Plans for may long are going fine.
I am too lazy to make this long.
<3
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April 1st, 2007
06:37 pm - Back to school....
How sad. I really just don't want to go back to school because of the simple fact that once I am back I am going to have to actually 'do' work and what not. Ooooh well, back to the old schedule and what not.
On a happier note, I finally managed to pick out a suit. Jen and Calvin are really the only people that have seen me in it, soooo I think that I am going to keep it that way so that people can be more surprised when I decide that I want to show myself to you all! It looks good Miss GLAM so you have nothing to worry about. :D
Calvin:
Well, Calvin was here for the weekend (as you might be able to tell). It was nice while he was here, buuuut I think that it would have been nicer if he was here longer. Oh well, we hand a good time minus the time when we were over at Dylan's... 'cause that was just too much drama to handle I think.
:S
But keep in mind that you are going to be picked up for May 10 for out graduation the day after! (cause I know that you read this). So make sure that your parents know because you are going to be missing school the Friday!
Note:
Don't ever waste your time in reading 'Into Thin Air' it is the most boring book I have ever read in my life! What a waste of time... and what a stupid selection to read for school. Lame fucking bitchy ass teacher!
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March 27th, 2007
03:12 pm
Little Rant:
Majority of you people are lame, you don't post here any more for me to read!! *cries* Whatever, maybe you are caught up in life or something.
College Shit:
Yeah, so I don't have the requirements for my portfolio so I am asking Michelle if I am able to simple send my application and have the portfolio sent at a later time, because right now I know that it is not going to be an option seeing as some of the things that I would like to use are on the school hard drive non the less.
In other news:
I found the Evenescence files! So I am uploading the videos as we speak onto my photobucket! The quality is not that great because... hey, the video is coming from my cell phone, so gimme a break here!
Link to all concert related things here.
Hope you enjoy!
P.S. There are other concert pictures that I have uploaded on there, so go look!
Optimistically charged:
Dylan and I worked through that little dispute more or less. We hung out and everything was for the better... I hope. No no, I am sure of it for sure!
Also, I am finally going to get something done with my hair this coming... TOMORROW! It'll be great, because it is not going to be something like what I have hads done in the past!!
On the lighter side:
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March 24th, 2007
12:57 pm
Some changes:
Well, I managed to buy myself a gym pass and I am going to the gym with a friend from work (Christina) every morning pretty much at 5:00am. I know you people more then likely think that I am crazy, but I actually manage to accomplish all the things that I want to accomplish in the morning when I wake up by that time. I also bought 200 tanning minutes and some cream and shit that goes along with that. I actually like it so I think that I am going to continue on doing that more into the year until the weather becomes 'skimpy time'.
Post Secondary:
After tanning todaay with Alicia, we wanted to check out some of the shops here in out wee little town, so we went into a book store right beside the salon and Michelle (Administrator of Admition (I suddenly forgot the spelling of that word) for the Vancouver Art College) called me asking if I was planning on sending in my application because of the fact that they were holding a spot for me to send in my work!!! Can you beleive that? So I am going to be sending in my portfolio as well as the Application this spring break. Holy fuck man, it is exciting as hell!
Dylan:
Well, I feel really strongly about this guy... you know? I don't know what to do about it, really. Last night I had went over to Dylan's house, but before I went over I stopped at Sev. and bought some chips and candy and shit for us for when we were going to watch Death Note (damn good anime). All was good, we were watching it and what not being all cuddly and flirty... whatever. As the night progresses, his sister and her boyfriend come home drunk and don't really give us the time of day to be along with one another (but they are really nice people non the less, they were just drunk) so that started to become irritating really quickly.
Now, my set goal for Dylan was to get him tired so we could fall asleep together. It was working well because he went to lye (spelling?) down on the couch because he was tired. So I thought 'hey, maybe I can get some sleep' (because I had been up since 5:00am that morning). As I was watching the last Episode for the night, one of Dylan's former friends starts making fun of Dylan and pissing around. At this point I kind of said some things to him and Dylan became involved getting hyped up over the situation. Due to the fact that that ass-fuck got him all pent up, Dylan stayed on the computer for longer. I stayed up with him because he had asked, but it came to a point where I NEEDED to sleep so I went to lie down on his bed.
Before the night had started, I had purposely not called, texted, e-mails, talked on the internet for a while to Dylan simply because of the fact that I wanted him to do something and maybe call me or something. No. he didn't call me or anything for about three days. He sent me a nex message the day of telling me to come over and blah blah... so that is where it started. He also mentioned that he really missed me which further intrigued me to continue on going to his house.
Thinking that in sometime he was going to come to bed with me, I kinda just stayed awake because his typing was keeping me up as well as the music. Well, finally dozing a bit off at about 5:00ish somewhere around there, I get up at about 8:00 (after a very broken sleep 'cause his room is pretty cold) to go and see what he was doing (because I could hear the music still playing) and when I open the door to his other room, he was sleeping on the couch.
I was kinda stunned.
I went to the bathroom, but couldn't really go, then walked home, crying the whole way home. I don't reallt know what it is that I am doing with this whole thing. I mean, if he says that "I am the best thing that has ever happened to him" (said that a little bit back, and that he "misses me" why didn't he want to lye with me? Or even talk to me about his annoyance.
I know that this may not seem like alot, but there are soooo many things that I have done for this relationship that this really didn't help. I don't really know what is wrong with me that is unallowing Dylan to want to be close with me. I am not being forceful in anyway, I am not pressuring anything on him, I give him his space when he asks for it... he doesn't do anything. He sits at home on the fucking computer doing nothing, for daaays on end.
... so I invite to all my social gatherings pretty much to get him out of the house. I got him out of his house to apply for 3 jobs (keep in mind I had to get him out os his out, get him is app. and hand it in too because he is anti-social). Whenever I am over at his house, he is on the computer, and I pretty much sit there and fucking watch him while I do nothing.
I just don't really know what to do at this point because I like him in insrmountable amounts and I really can't see me being in a 'relationship' with another person. Somehow, something tells me that he might still like that guy that he mentioned a while back... I mean, something tells me that this is the limit, that he is the epitomy (spelling?) of laziness and that there is nothing that I can do about it and that maybe I just need to break it off with him and let him sort out his priorities, because he only seems to have one right now: the computer. Or tell him straight up that this is rediculous and that he needs to do something about it.
I could go on fooooorever about this, trust me, but that is it for now.
Side note:
My armpits stink, so I am heading to the shower.
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March 8th, 2007
04:57 pm
Starting off:
Alright, this is going to have a bit of adult humor in here, so I am putting this in a cut. I received this in an e-mail and I thought that it was amusing a bit for those who can appareciate this kind of humor:
( Adult humor )
On the serious side:
I have been a complete mixation of emotions really lately. As some of you know... the ones to fucking bother to read this that is... I have been dating Dylan, yeah? Well, only as of lately have I started to become a little more paranoid about things going on between him and I. I am not going to share much on here due to the fact that I am almost certain it is my paranoia that is anallowing me to think things through properly, so I am going to take Dylan aside and explain to him what I am feeling about a few things.
NOTE:
OMG, I have a phone interview with the Vancouver Art Institute this coming Tuesday. That is just an interview that might allow me to receive an applicatioin into the school. I am hoping that it goes well, I mean I phone the lady that I was speaking too seemed interested in having the interview with me so let us see how it goes.
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March 1st, 2007
04:45 pm
Overview
Alright, I am going to make this one quick and simple. First of all my side hurts like something that I have never felt before and right now I feel a little overwhelmed with things that I need to do. I am going to go and visit Dylan soon here because I would like to see him and because he is not feeling well right now. Maybe I can cheer him up or something... you know, I am really stressing over liking him right now. I don't really know why at this point. It is obvious that I like him, and he apparently likes me alot...yet for some reason I can't help but feel something a little different about this relationship. :S Annnyways, that is enough of that.
Things that I need to do:
- Make grad banner designs
- Do English notes for essay
- Finish up Biology questions on Dihybrid replication
- Re-write my notes on what we took up today in Biology.
- Go and purchase missing school supplies that I need.
This is just what I need for today unfortunately...
Important Note!
For those people who might know about this, I am going to need pictures for the grad slideshow. I am not working on it, but I am submitting pictures to Chantelle (who is making it) so that she has a better variety of pictures to choose from. So send me pictures VIA e-mail please and thanks.
Here is the photobucket link: Click here
The grad pictures is under the 'Grad Pics' link.... duh.
Side note:
Next update I will tell you people about Dylan.
:)
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February 12th, 2007
06:59 pm - Clean up.
I definately got rid of all you useless people on my list. I no longer need you there. You are cluttering up my space and I don't need to read your self-absorbed, how you hate life stories. They're pathetic and not worth my time. To the people whom I comment: from now on, you are the ones that obviously didn't become deleted.
On the lighter side:
I thought that it was rather amusing... I mean it cheered me right up when I read it. LoL.
On the other side:
I have been seeing this really great guy named Dylan. He is a videogame nerd, but incrediably cute and fun to be around. -NO WE DID NOT HAVE SEX...IDIOTS- . Aren't we in a cheery mood? Aside from that statement, I just want to say that things are generally going well. :)
On the other side:
Grad is coming up. Grad photo's are tomorrow. I am really hoping that I am going to be able to make to Calvin's grad, I would really like to be there for him for something like that, and I have not seen him in too too long I must admit (Miss you buddy). I need something done with my hair... I am not sure what. I was more or less thinking something normal looking, but would look good on me... you know?
I have nothing more to say.
- ciao
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/cold.gif) cold
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January 21st, 2007
09:52 am - Join Up!!
Alright everyone!
The is Vampirefreaks.com, I have been part of this cult for years.
This is THE site that has taught my my coding skills and made me interested in what I want to be.
Also, I have met TONS of such interesting people that I talk to from different parts of the world..
If you use the URL link that I have posted above, and create an account to see what it is like...
You help win me some referal points which can go towards me earning Premium Membership (which I would really appreciate)!!
Just have a look and see if you like it or not. :)
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January 1st, 2007
06:23 pm - - don't die alone -
Alright, well I was reading this amazing book called 'Tuesdays with Morie' (I read it in 2 days, man!)... and about half way during the book I thought of this... aaaand I thought that I would share it with you fellow readers. BOOK VERY MUCH RECOMMENDED!!!
After all... we all die the way we were born, only in reverse. When you are born you come from a place of peace and comfort into a world where at first, you are entirely dependant on others for your survival. First starting with having those you care for you clean you when you have ditied your diaper, you having your mother or father tend to your basic needs. Soon growing up, you learn how to use the toilet, to clothe yourself because it is the proper thing to do and to feed yourself the food that others have prepared for you. After this stage, you eventually come into a stage where you are completely capable of looking after yourself without the help of those around you. Eventually, your mid-life has passed you behind you, to the life you now have. It seems that those you thought were close have now become closer than ever. Your bring them closer in an act to show them life itself. Old age begins to claim your physical state and dependancy on others once again claims you. Although you are aware of the simple fact that death is closer than you realized and your physical body is dying... your soul is raging with a new born state of life. Now your physical body is depending on technology ot help you walk and science to help you live. You gather your loved ones closer, not only because you are beginning to need the basic helpo, but in an act to bring them closer. You begin to rely on them to help you from place to place4, and soon before you know it, you have them putting on your woolen socks because you are incapable of bending down to put them on yourself. You hope that you can once again impact those around you you with words of wisdow as you once did with the simple actions of naivety you had possessed as a baby. you begin to think more and more about the life you had and brush of the inadvertant thought of death. Soon enough, death does have its grip around you and you are then released from your physical state leaving your legacy behind. Come to think of it, not only do you leave your legacy behind, but a subconscious fact that your life'r circle came to its 360 degrees. Being born with those who loved you, you die with those who love you. It kind of leaves tranquility amidst the atmosphere knowing that when we die, we never die alone.
TA DA!
Tell me what you think!?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/crazy.gif) weird
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October 21st, 2006
11:06 pm - What I hate about everything.
I really hate it knowing that the possibility of finding someone to love you as much as you could love them is slim to none, or knowing that the possibility isn't there. I hate the fact that because of my pent up drive that I am becoming emotionally and physically ill. I hate having heart burn right now and I hate having no motivation to do anything (even get a tums to releive the burn in my chest). I hate sex... it really is because of this simple aspect that is making me feel how I am feeling right now.I hate not being fully integrated ("If we were fully integrated, we would have no need to have sex with someone else..." Pamela Ball in The Complete Dream Dictionary). I hate how there are fucking losers who read my page and tell my aunt and uncle about shit that they can't do anything about... yet I still make things public, which I hate myself for doing. I beyond beleif hate how I always have friends that are on either side of the spectrum and I can't bring them together for fear of conflict. What I hate the most, is knowing that once this has come to an end, that I will go through it again sometime in the future.
I am simply going through another one of those phases where it feels like nothing is right. Although I know exactly what can help me, and it is really unfortunate to know that is has to be that that can help me. I am not telling, so don't bother asking me on here.
On the lighter side, I was bored one day and I thought that I would do a search on nex. and I am going to be meeting up with a for sure someone next Saturday. I don't really know much about the person aside from the fact that I met him on the internet, his name is Ben, and that he is 18. Oh! If you really care to know, he is homosexual and I totally think that he is cute. I don't care if you people oppose to me meeting up with people that I don't know, the truth of the matter is, I am old enough to experiment with people whether you fuckers like it or not. The other guy, I am trying to think of something to do. He is 17, and his name is Myles. I would like to meet up with him, although I don't really know what it is we should do. Any ideas? Also, I would like to mention that I could totally see myself liking one of them... but not like you people care cause you don't even bother commenting on what I have to fucking say anymore.
Well... I have severe heart burn and I am hungry right now, sooo I am leaving.
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September 10th, 2006
07:43 pm
Sorry I have not been updating... I have been really busy.
I will explain in my next entry which-ever that one might be.
If you people even care anymore.
Chao ~
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August 20th, 2006
08:57 pm
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Well, I think that it is about time that I update. I am sure that you are all dying to know how my trip to the Red Deer College was, right?he he, well here goes:
Now... yesterday, i totally went shopping and spent alot of money, and I really should have bought more then I did. I bought a pair of jeans from Abercrombie and Fitch, 2 shirts from Urban Outfitters, 3 cd's (The Faint, Mindless SeldIndulgence and Combichrist), and cool belt and some gauges for my ear! It is not much, seeing that it was about 400 dollars that i spent, and I still need to get some more shoes!! I also want some more pants... lol. Damn... I spend too much money! Ooooh well. That is what it is meant for right?
Well, this is enough... seeing that I know you people don't like reading long ass entries. Soooo, here is what is left of my entry:
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/angry.gif) cranky
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August 11th, 2006
11:53 am - Garbage Goodbyes
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You know that song that i mentioned from before? The one that I was working on? Well, last night I had the same inspiration as the time before... so I finished it. Here it is:
Garbage Goodbyes - Cotie Guzman
Save your words, because you never gave a damn,
don't tell me you cared it will only lead you down.
The cover of lies is as sweet as it can be,
the roses are green as they sweat with envy.
Screw all of it, I am better left without,
the ginger sweet deciet that comes out of your mouth.
Your lips they portrude all that is unreal,
candy covered lies and strudled hate reveals:
CHORES 1:
Spiders crawling in my viens,
don't tell me your lies
'cause it'll never be the same.
Your kiwi cuts and garbage goodbyes
don't mean anything
so save the tears that you cried.
Lavished in celebrity you never gave a fuck.
Surrounded by the misery, tomorrow brings you luck.
Seeking in the wrong, the stinger bites at two:
One right in the ass, while the others' aimed at you.
CHORES 1
Branded by the fake and twisted the web has weaved its toll
tangled in your failed attempt in sugar coated mold
Rotting from the inside out, you couldn't keep it in,
pulsing with the symptom of trying to let you win.
Zip it up and put away the penetrating fuck,
slip it in, the poison says that it will bring me luck.
Hold yourself together or I'll slap you 'till insane,
telling me that you love me; fuck, that shit is lame!
CHORES 1
CHORES 2:
The venom that you gave me
is the color of lust
still so blind that I can see.
Your kiwi cuts and garbage goodbyes,
still don't mean anything,
so drown in the tears that you cried.
No more garbage goodbyes.
It's over, shut up with your lies.
Mother fucker, you're living in the past,
four-leaf clovers' luck is out and I'm over you at last!
Well, that was it... I am not sure about the last 4 lines however.
So tell me what you think? I thought that it was kinda cool, right? I mean, I am sure that you are able to find out the meaning behind it... itis really not that hard. ha ha.
Anyways... moving on:
Current Mood: giddy
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August 9th, 2006
12:35 pm - Loooser on the loose
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Quote:
A new broom sweeps clean, but the old brush knows all the corners.
Irish Proverb
Go on my page... I made a new looking layout!!!
Was looking in the jokes page and found a gooder, I think.
Sooo, I totally didn't go to Sounds of the Underground... it totally sucked! My aunt ana was suppose to call me and what not but she didn't and I didn't know what the hell was going on, and the next thing I know, the concert is gone. LAME!
Yesterday I went shopping with Jane and Catolina (P.S. She made the avatar of me!!!) and well, nothing overly exciting there. I got sunglasses... that are those white thicker framed ones!! yeah... I think that they look cool. I also quit Safeway, I called them today and told them that I wasn't going to be going to anymore of my shifts. I hate it there. No one go work there!
I sooo want to go to Avenged Sevenfold! It is going t be wicked if i can go!!!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/relaxed.gif) complacent
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August 4th, 2006
11:14 am - concerts like woah!
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I think that last entry i forgot to mention the fact that I had gone to the Rob Zombie concert! It was pretty much amazing! The concert was really cool, but the mosh pit wasn't as bad as I was hoping for... so that kinda sucked! Baaaaah, played great music! OMG, my aunty ana calls me yesterday and tell me... guess what? THAT SHE IS TAKING ME TO SOUNDS OF THE UNDERGROUND! Can you beleive it? A full day concert of death metal! OMG, it is going to amazing! I am totally looking forward to this! It is going to be great! I have been to 4 concerts already, and this is going to be a full day, non stop, going to die in mosh pit, concert!!!!
I almost pee'd my pants! ha ha
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July 30th, 2006
July 20th, 2006
01:01 pm - Read This!!
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I was reading someone's profile on Vampirefreaks, and I cam across this.
I thought that it was sooo neat, my heart stopped!
One night a boy and girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of that painful silence they shared that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed and that it was time to move on. A tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket and passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the driver’s seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out and read it. "Without your love, I would surely die.
Is that cool, or what?
Bahhhh, OMG, I love it!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/thoughtful.gif) contemplative
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July 19th, 2006
04:01 pm - [H]ome- (T)ime-!!!
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Woo hooo! I am finally home!
Well, not that I didn't have fun or anything while I was there, I just happened to miss some of my friends here in mass amounts.
Now that I am back, I am finally back into my old routines... kinda happy I am not going to lie; aside from the cutting myself when I was trimming my treasure trail... lol (like you needed to know that).
As usual, I met some more people while I was there... this time I met some of other people's friends rather than Calvin's all the time (not that it is a bad thing) Dustin, Victor and Chris... all incrediably nice people, but very much shy when you try to talk to them. Hmmmm, like when I gave them handshakes, not one of them make eye-contact with me. Baaah, I am not intimidating am I? Seeing that they are like a foot taller than me... well 2/3 are. I also met Jared and Chelsey (or something along the lines... bad bad memory I have) and they were great to be around. I think that they found all of my little habits amusing... which was good, cause I hate being thought of as boring. Also finally got to meet Patrick, was great great, aside from the fact that Dustin apparently thought that I was taking Patrick away from him... Ha! C'mon now... I just met him. Yeah, he really is alot like me... well, more personality than anything else though. Also met.... I forget his name... the guy that let me play his drums while i was ready to vomit cause I was sick.... yeah. Him. He was realllly nice also, but I wish i could have left a better impression, cause I was really not feeling well there.
Well, aside from that, I peirced my other ear... and well... I am stretching as most know... and I am guessing (seeing that I am not actually using real gauges) that it is about at a 12 or somewhere close there. So... a little while to go before I get to my 2/0 gauge!!! I also cut my hair!!! isn't that great!? I took a few pictures also.... if you wanna look:
He he... yeah, i know... I look kinda like a loser, but I thought that I did a good job at the cutting non? yeah.... Oh!!!!
This Just In!!!!!
I have now got tickets to go and see All American Rejects and Three Days Grace... OMG, isn't that the best news you have ever heard? Also, my mother wants to take me to go and see Nelly Furtado tomorrow at Capital-X... I am thinking that I want to go, yeah? it is weird... cause Blair was the one that gave her the tickets... What a loser. I am thinking that I am going to be having a great time, yeah? OOOOOHHHHH, and not only that Butch Walker is going to be playing at the Capital-X too!!!! Woooot, I am totally looking forward to that, seeing that he is hot from the last time I met him.
gah... My aunt and uncle are going to be talking to be about my school marks today. Well, that is what I am assuming, cause I failed religion and my other marks weren't really that strong... oh god... just thinking about it makes me want to cry. It doesn't help that last night when i was with Amber, Alicia and Kay that we watched this movie called "It's my party" cause that was a damn fucking sad movie also. I had to watch the black bar at the bottom of the screen on countless occasions to make myself not cry.... damn movie. BUT GOOD NON THE LESS!!!! recommended for you people!!!
Well that's it... this is too long.
Chao ~
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/blackbox/nerdy.gif) dorky
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infernomancer's journal
can you feel the beat?